THAT SHOULD BE ME
Love conquers everything. Walang mapapagod kung ang pahinga niyo ay ang isa’t isa.
When my relationship with Kira lasted for a year, I thought she’s the one. The one I’m gonna spend the rest of my future with, the one I’m gonna marry and the mother of my future kids.
I met her when I was 20 and she’s 17 that time. She was still in senior high.
I waited for her to turn 18 before I courted her and in just weeks she said yes.
Naging kami and it was such a dream come true. We studied together, spend our extra time watching movies and strolling around the mall. We were really happy.
Masaya.
Masaya sa una, habang tumatagal palabo na ng palabo.
We talk less and most of the time, we argue. Hindi kami nagkaka sundo sa mga bagay bagay. It seems like everything had changed. I always understand her, but never did she.
“We need space and time.” That’s what she said before she goes back to their province.
Hinayaan ko siya, I gave her what she want, kahit man labag sa loob ko.
Weeks passed by, I approached her. Ayokong masira kami dahil lang sa hindi pagkaka intindihan.
I traveled miles just to see her.
“Kira.”
“Anong ginawa mo dito?” Kunot noong tanong niya. Nagmamadali binitbit niya ang mga gamit niya at akmang aalis na siya.
“Let’s talk.”
“About what?”
“About us.”
“Wala ng tayo Ryle. ” Sabi niya na ikina gugulat ko.
“Space and time means freedom. Don’t you get it? Are you that dumb?” She asked me and walked away leaving me dumbfounded.
Araw gabi kong inaalala ang mga pangako namin sa isa’t isa. Mga pangakong mapapako lang pala sa dulo. May trial card ba na umabot na taon? Who would thought that I’d be losing her that way?
Wala naman akong ginawang mali, napagod lang siya. Siya pa yung napagod kahit ako naman yung nag effort lagi.
5 months later.
Pagkalabas ko ng kwarto ay agad akong nag tungo sa kusina.
“Ryle, umayos ka nga. You should atleast look like a human being.” Inis na sita sakin ni mama habang kumakain ako ng cake.
“Gwapo pa din naman ako ma diba?” Pang iinis ko sa kanya.
“Kung ayaw mong ipatapon kita sa Mars, maligo ka na. You must help me entertain our guests later.”
“Damay mo pa ako.” Bulong ko at bumalik sa kwarto para maligo. Takot ako kay mama ih.
Pagkatapos kong mag ayos ay bumaba agad ako.
Nagulat ako ng makitang si Kira ang bisita namin. I was about to approach her ng biglang sumulpot sa likod niya si Kuya Xavier.
“Ryle, meet Kira, your future sister in law.” Nakangiting pakilala ni kuya.
I was too stunned to speak even a single word. I just nodded and continued to the kitchen.
I was about to drink my coffee when she entered the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Ryle.”
“When you asked for space, I was lost. I couldn’t even sleep peacefully knowing that we aren’t fine. When you told me we’re over, I was more than the word broken. You know it’s only you that I have. It’s only you that I can vent my problems unto. but you left. you left me clueless. I thought you just wanted a space and time for yourself, may iba na pala. I guess you’re right. I really am stupid.”
I didn’t wait for what she’s gonna say and walked out instead. shuta naka ilang walk out na ako ah.
..
“You have to be in your brother’s wedding.” Ani mama.
“Dalhan mo nalang ako ng cake ma.” saad ko.
“Handa na ang tux mo at lahat ng gamit mo.” Sabi ni mama at tin uro ang isang box.
“Give me one reason kung bakit kailangan kong pum unta dun.”
“You’re the Best Man.” Nakangiting sagot ni mama. Fvck. Nananadya ba sila?
As I watched them dancing slowly, I can’t help myself from thinking that, what if did conquer our misunderstandings, kami kaya yung ikakasal?
that should be my if only she never gave up.
that should be me if only she didn’t found someone better than me.
That should be me she’s dancing with.
That should be me she’ll spend lifetime with.
That should be me if only it was me she’s inlove with.
That should be me, not my brother Xavier.
Love conquers everything. Walang mapapagod kung ang pahinga niyo...

ay ang isa’t isa.
When my relationship with Kira lasted for a year, I thought she’s the one. The one I’m gonna spend the rest of my future with, the one I’m gonna marry and the mother of my future kids.
I met her when I was 20 and she’s 17 that time. She was still in senior high.
I waited for her to turn 18 before I courted her and in just weeks she said yes.
Naging kami and it was such a dream come true. We studied together, spend our extra time watching movies and strolling around the mall. We were really happy.
Masaya.
Masaya sa una.
We talk less and most of the time, we argue. Hindi kami nagkaka sundo sa mga bagay bagay. It seems like everything had changed. I always understand her, but never did she.
“We need space and time.” That’s what she said before she goes back to their province.
Hinayaan ko siya, I gave her what she want, kahit man labag sa loob ko.
Weeks passed by, I approached her. Ayokong masira kami dahil lang sa hindi pagkaka intindihan.
I traveled miles just to see her.
“Kira.”
“Anong ginawa mo dito?” Kunot noong tanong niya. Nagmamadali binitbit niya ang mga gamit niya at akmang aalis na siya.
“Let’s talk.”
“About what?”
“About us.”
“Wala ng tayo Ryle. ” Sabi niya na ikina gugulat ko.
“Space and time means freedom. Don’t you get it? Are you that dumb?” She asked me and walked away leaving me dumbfounded.
Araw gabi kong inaalala ang mga pangako namin sa isa’t isa. Mga pangakong mapapako lang pala sa dulo. May trial card ba na four years? Who would thought that I’d be losing her that way?
Wala naman akong ginawang mali, napagod lang siya. Siya pa yung napagod kahit ako naman yung nag effort lagi.
5 months later.
Pagkalabas ko ng kwarto ay agad akong nag tungo sa kusina.
“Ryle, umayos ka nga. You should atleast look like a human being.” Inis na sita sakin ni mama habang kumakain ako ng cake.
“Gwapo pa din naman ako ma diba?” Pang iinis ko sa kanya.
“Kung ayaw mong ipatapon kita sa Mars, maligo ka na. You must help me entertain our guests later.”
“Damay mo pa ako.” Bulong ko at bumalik sa kwarto para maligo. Takot ako kay mama ih.
Pagkatapos kong mag ayos ay bumaba agad ako.
Nagulat ako ng makitang si Kira ang bisita namin. I was about to approach her ng biglang sumulpot sa likod niya si Kuya Xavier.
“Ryle, meet Kira, your future sister in law.” Nakangiting pakilala ni kuya.
I was too stunned to speak even a single word. I just nodded and continued to the kitchen.
I was about to drink my coffee when she entered the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Ryle.”
“When you asked for space, I was lost. I couldn’t even sleep peacefully knowing that we aren’t fine. When you told me we’re over, I was more than the word broken. You know it’s only you that I have. It’s only you that I can vent my problems unto. but you left. you left me clueless. I thought you just wanted a space and time for yourself, may iba na pala. I guess you’re right. I really am stupid.”
I didn’t wait for what she’s gonna say and walked out instead. shuta naka ilang walk out na ako ah.
..
“You have to be in your brother’s wedding.” Ani mama.
“Dalhan mo nalang ako ng cake ma.” saad ko.
“Handa na ang tux mo at lahat ng gamit mo.” Sabi ni mama at tin uro ang isang box.
“Give me one reason kung bakit kailangan kong pum unta dun.”
“You’re the Best Man.” Nakangiting sagot ni mama. Fvck. Nananadya ba sila?
As I watched them dancing slowly, I can’t help myself from thinking that, what if did conquer our misunderstandings, kami kaya yung ikakasal?
that should be my if only she never gave up.
that should be me if only she didn’t found someone better than me.
That should be me she’s dancing with.
That should be me she’ll spend lifetime with.
That should be me if only it was me she’s inlove with.
I heard someone once say that love conquers all. So there I stare at them, broken, alone with my thoughts thinking “maybe it wasn’t love after all”.
Written by : Nate
photo credits to the real owner.